The Return of the Wasp-Monsters

It has been quite some time since something new has graced the face of this blog. I'd like to say that I've been so busy doing important things that this little page was left un-updated. But that's not really true. I'm just lazy. So here's the speedy version of what's new so as not to bore you:


- I let the garden die (remember the laziness I referred to?)
- We're finally in a season where we have enough time to travel to see family. It's fantastic.
- I've been knee-deep in thesis - and am glad that's something you only have to do once....
- We're skipping Thanksgiving all together and going to Vail, Colorado with The Powers instead
- Jeremy got a new job!! He'll be starting at Lockheed Martin (Missiles and Fire Control) on November 29 - right after we get back from our snowboarding getaway






Last fall, ironically right around this time, we had a little humorous trouble with wasps in the house. So much trouble that it spurred Wasp Blog #1 AND Wasp Blog #2. 




They're back. 




And this time I have no handy husband nearby to hunt them for me. Jeremy's been finishing a project for work in Cleburne, TX which means he often stays there Monday through Thursday. This has shown me a lot about myself:


I hate sleeping alone.


I'm too lazy to cook if Jeremy's not home to eat it. My new dinner norm is cereal. How nutritious of me. 


I am also incapable of bringing in the garbage cans after trash day. All former roommates can vouch for me on this. 


I thought I was a pretty capable woman, but one year of having a man around the house has debunked that myth. When the wasps started trickling back into the house again, I figured there must be another nest in the chimney. Turns out I don't know how to close the chimney flue. 


Smoking them out would be another logical alternative --- but I can't light a fire to save my life. 


So instead of trying to nip the wasp situation in the bud, I'll just continue to kill them when they find their way into the living room. Not because I'm brave, but because I'm lazy.




So the moral of the story is that this story isn't about wasps at all, but about how gracious I am to have a husband who will wasp-hunt for me and eat my food and bring in the garbage cans. 


Thanks for making it all the way through my ramblings - next time I'll be organized and concise.






Love,


K

The Irwins vs. The Wasp-Monsters, Part 2 AND Kelley vs. The Mosquitos

Well I promised a part 2 of our wasp-invasion story, but I'm afraid it might be boring :(


After the original post on the wasp-monsters, I BEGGED Jeremy to find out where they were coming from. Look in the air vents, climb in the attic, check the windows! His response was that he was not going to crawl into a small confined space looking to find a wasp nest. Can't argue with that. I concluded that they must be coming from a nest in the chimney. This had only one remedy..... Smoke 'em out.


BUT... it was 75 degrees in November, so we decided that it wasn't really economical to turn on the air conditioner just so we could have a fire.


A few more wasps later, we realized that the chimney flue blocked off nearly the entire chimney from the house when closed - which it wasn't. So we closed the flue and haven't seen a wasp since. 


Such a simple solution. And MUCH more effective than my attempt to rid the backyard of mosquitos this summer....


I discovered the joy of gardening early this summer, and we planted a large vegetable garden in our back yard in July. However, I found myself covered in mosquito bites daily, just from spending a few minutes outside watering the garden. I already knew that mosquitos will fly a mile to drink my blood, but to make matters worse, our yard seemed to be the site of a local mosquito village. I tried dousing myself with heavy-duty repellant each time I went outside, but to no avail. I spent most of the summer puffy and itchy, but as our wedding neared in August, I realized I had to find a way to avoid the mosquitos. 


I received an email forward one day raving about Listerine mouthwash as a solution to mosquito problems. A little desperate, I foolishly tried it. I purchased a HUGE bottle of Listerine and a spray bottle, and misted the entire back yard with it. And you know what I learned?


Mosquitos are attracted to Listerine.


The day after I sprayed the yard I was bitten about 752 times in a 5 minute time span. Ok I'm exaggerating, but hardly. The mosquito village had evolved into a huge, sprawling metropolis. 


Good news is the yard smelled minty-fresh for 2 weeks.


New solution. I bought a spray bug repellant that attached to the  end of the hose and, positive that it would do wonders immediately, tried it myself instead of waiting for Jeremy to come over and help me. Turns out there was a reason it was on sale, because as soon as I turned on the hose, the connector exploded, and in a matter of seconds I was soaked in water and bug-poison. 


To make things SO much better, I pulled the hose across the driveway just in time for a neighbor walking through the alley to see me dripping with water and white-foamy poison, in addition to the ridiculousness that is my normal gardening attire (workout clothes, post-workout, and nearly-knee high polka dot rain boots).


So the moral to the story? Close the chimney, spray all the poison that you want, but the bugs will most likely always still win.

The Irwins vs. The Wasp-Monsters, Part 1

I am not very good at dealing with spiders, snakes, bees, creepy crawly things...... to save myself from continuing this very long list, basically anything that can bite/sting/poison me and/or that scurries/flies/darts.


I grew up in the Canadian rockies. We did not have a wide variety of spiders and nasty flying things. We have cougars and bears. I'm okay with cougars and bears - they don't sneak into your house through the crack in the door and crawl up your leg during dinner. 


Then I moved to Texas. Bug-Central. Lucky  me.


When I moved into our first house together in May, it had been vacant for a few months. I didn't think about the repercussions of this fact until the night I pulled a wine glass out of the cabinet with a live brown recluse sprawled out inside. After finding six more in a week or so, we invested in a heavy-duty pesticide called "Demon WP". I'm pretty sure that stuff knocked out everything living on our property besides us and the dog. Good stuff. 


We thought that the disappearance of bugs meant they'd finally realized who was boss and vacated our property. Then last week I noticed a wasp-like hornet dirt dobber thingy (not sure what it was, but it DEFINITELY had a stinger and wings...) flying around the living room. My stealthy husband killed it skillfully with one slap. 


The next day we found two more in half an hour. We had no idea where they were coming from, but Jeremy assured me that there are usually only three or four to a nest, so no matter where this nest was we'd pretty much obliterated all it's inhabitants already. 


Then we found six more over the next few days. Luckily Jeremy was home for all of them and killed them before I had a chance to shriek girlishly for too long.


Last night I came home late from work, caught up in traffic, to hurriedly prepare dinner before our friends came over. Jeremy was still at work. About halfway into breading the chicken, I heard the familiar tink tink tink of a wasp-monster flying up against the ceiling light in the quiet room. 


I moved silently for my phone and called Jer. He was half an hour from home. I could wait half an hour, right? I continued breading chicken while constantly looking over my shoulder in fear, making sure I could see the wasp-monster and that it was across the room from me. Any time it got a little too close to my work space I would fly to the other side of the room, flinging butter and bread crumbs from my hands everywhere. I couldn't wait half an hour.


Problem - I was far too chicken to kill it like Jeremy did. Only a thin paper towel between my hand and the wasp-monster? Psssh, ludicrous. 


Solution - wooden spoon. 


Problem - putting a hole in the wall of the rent house trying to kill the wasp-monster. 


Solution - wrapping the spoon with a kitchen towel. Result? Ultimate monster-killing weapon. 


I stalked the thing across the room until it landed on the wall. I swung and hit it. It flapping around injured and ANGRY. Crap. 


Landed again. Smacked again. Knocked it onto the ground - woo hoo!! I couldn't let it get up again, so I went to town hacking the monster into the floor with the spoon for quite some time while the poor dog watched my massacre in horror. 


So now 10 wasp-monsters and counting have found themselves into the Irwin abode. There is no moral to this story yet.... we have yet to figure out where they're coming from.


But rest assured, Part 2 is coming.....